It started off with lie - I opened up for the first time about what was on my mind.
You were surprised; it set me a trap that made me believed you were thoughtful and kind.
I’ve never once realized; I trapped myself in my own mind.
That is when I start to lie.
I would let you see the scars that left behind, those I wasn’t so proud of, but I know for sure that they weren’t the ugliest that I have as mine.
I would let you convince me that ‘nope. It didn’t scare you away, made you want to run and hide away.’
I would let you stay – just to tell me that those scars made me stronger and that would be what you love.
I would let you convince me how you experience pretty much the same thing; and that is why you want to stay.
I would let you tell me that maybe you are the one – the one to actually reassemble my pieces, my insecurities; yet, we both know there is no willpower in me.
I would let you try to fix me – the darkness, the sorrow, the grief I will never let go, or the self-destruction that no one knows.
I would let you hide if you can’t fight; even if your true intention was only here to hide; or if you want to cry, but we both know these situations ain’t right.
I would let you make yourself mine – even if it is just one-side; even if it is a short period of time because man, the darkness made us both blind.
I would give you time; to sort out your mind – your ‘I would stay for a while, but I would miss the sunlight.’
I would give you smile – the one that would made you cry not because of its pride, but because you realize you should’ve ran and hide. The creepiness that I hide made you feel like you rather die.
So I let you go, whispering goodbye.
My thought run wild, unprepared for the plan;
There must be backup plan to our tragedy end – but now our one plan is a pathway to out of love and anger.
From the distance, my choice was simple; I guess I will just entertain; the show we have been playing together until there is no point in the game.
I would be smiling if I was not so desperate to hang onto you as tight as possible.
I would stop to answer all your questions and commands if it means to make you stay.
But I realized you have been the best version recreation in my life
I did not regret it, I won’t lie – the misery you have shared together have not cut its own ties.
It must have been funny, standing on the other side; but here I know it was all a lie